The Measure of a Man

Can you keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you?

 

pinin for the fjords

 

Or So You've Been Told

 

Because men have been missing real mentors for a while now.

And in their absence, there is more "talking about men" than "talking by men."

Or at least, that's what you'd think if you listened to those conversations. 

 

 

Do any of these statements sound familiar?

 

"He's a typical man - he never asks for help."

 

"God forbid HE should ever ask directions."

 

"He can't admit when he's wrong."

 

"He never tells me how he feels about anything."

 

the dude is quiet

Say What Now?

 

They're all overgeneralized nonsense.

 

For reasons we won't get into right now, this is the accepted way of discussing men. The man is a sexually aggressive, mostly dim-witted provider who lumbers through life stealing or appropriating the power of everyone he encounters through a brute application of his gender privilege.

 

It's worth noting that most of these discussions do not originate with men. It becomes mildly disturbing when a guy endorses these labels, especially a guy who is ostensibly old enough to know better.

 

The men I work with don't respond very well to this approach. Men are regularly accused of not being in touch with their feelings, particularly in the car on the way to see their wife's therapist. Any man who's been in that position knows a trap when he sees it.

 

Are they right? Do you never tell her how you feel about anything?

 

I don't ask these questions to start arguments or to finish grand theories. This isn't an "anti-feminist" approach or even a "maninist" approach (whatever the hell that is).

There's a simple truth that most men know, that few others seem to take into consideration.

As men grow older, men talk less.

But here's the interesting part.

 

It's not always your choice. 

 

I work with men. I work with men who aren't sure what to do next, or how to figure out what their actual thoughts are on a subject.

Because when they say "men don't talk about their feelings," they're right.

They're just usually wrong about why. We help answer that. Our work gives you permission to act with the power you have always had. 

It's easy to forget what that power is. It's easy to misunderstand. 

 

If you'd like to know more, keep reading.

Michael Wurth, LPC

I work with men.

 

Michael Wurth headshot

 

Are you certain you even need help?

 

Have you felt that help can't reach you?

Would you know what to say if you got it?

 

Men are trained to shut down. 

 

We are taught to say little and to show even less.

And somewhere along the way, we've lost the knowledge that makes us men to begin with:

the knowledge that we are strong, we are effective, and we are needed.

 

You can change this. Starting today.

 

Talk to me.

 

Background Image
"I just can't tell when she's angry"

Men Don't Always Get It.

You've heard that men are stupid and women are crazy.

 

Do you really believe that?

Can you both do better?

Because counselors aren't trained to handle them.

Men Are Often The Outliers

 

who says what a man is

 

It's not enough to say what a man is or is not.

 

Men change over time. And in predictable ways.

A man develops as experiences are accumulated, as triumphs and failures come and go. 

 

Too many counselors simply are not trained to reach a well-made man.

 

Or even a poorly made one.  You know it fastest when you go to see a counselor you didn't choose.

Or if you just looked up a name in an insurance directory and hoped you picked a good one.

 

And if the first time you see a counselor is when your wife takes you in for marriage counseling,

you don't trust counselors for long.

 

Why should you?

 

 

You need someone who understands more than what you say.

 

Because it's often what you won't say that matters most.

 

you're tearing me apart

 

This is especially important if you're facing a divorce.

If your kids aren't listening.

Or if you're tired of being who you are in your marriage.

 

We can find out what's going on. We can address it. You can relax.

 

Click here to call me now from your mobile.

 

 

Science Matters

You're too important to throw darts at.

Too many men don't ask for the help they need. And before long, they begin to believe they're the only ones going through their problem.  I work using data-driven tools such as cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavior therapy to help you identify what is keeping you from being your best self. We have been there before. We have measured the results of our treatments. We don't just guess or Google our way through manhood.

Feel Powerless? Lost? There's another truth:

You have more power than you believe.

For a variety of reasons, many men feel like they cannot express themselves, or are attacked for trying. They begin believing they have no power in a situation, or even worse - that they bring too much untamed power to a conflict, and harm the people they wish to love and protect.  

The power you have within you is real. I can help you find it again or for the first time. Your words and your thoughts matter. But some skills must be learned.

Have you stumbled? So has everyone else.

We can find a way to learn from it.

Men sometimes stumble. It is often messy, and sometimes violent. And to get back up, too many men mistrust their own history, as though one man alone could be charged with the repair of all men's crimes.

You can learn to see the finest traditions of manhood for what they can teach you now, in a time that moves faster than any other ever has. You can be guided by the past without being condemned for it. We'll show you how.

Michael Wurth counsels unicorns

Unitarian Church of the Hill Country, July 9, 2017

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Published on June 9, 2017

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mindful in the crosswalk - a public appearance

Introduction to Mindfulness

Published on April 11, 2017

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Still not sure?

 

awake in bed on phone

 

Maybe you just aren't sleeping.

 

Maybe you are getting mad a little faster - a little more intensely - and at people who don't deserve it.

Maybe you're getting a little paranoid about things that never used to bother you.

Maybe you find yourself on the brink of committing an infidelity.

 

Is a random listing in an insurance directory going to fix the problem?

 

Maybe. But who knows. Because men don't play the lottery after a while. And some of us aren't as selective as we should be. And it comes back to bite us in the ass later.

 

this is not my beautiful house

This is not my beautiful house.

 

 

Skip the small talk.

What if you got a chance to answer three questions before filling out five pages of intake forms?

 

What if you didn't have to talk to someone until you were certain he was right for you? 

What if you could just look around and see if something catches your eye? 

Maybe there're some resources you can use. And if you still want to talk, I'm here.

 

Give it a try. Click on the Charles Atlas Ad to start a three question mini-screening.

 

Charles Atlas 7 Days

In Just Seven Days.

 

 

Who has time for quizzes?

You Can Write To Me. It's All Confidential.

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